Easy Bake Oven and the New Light Bulbs

A paralyzing thought came over me this morning as I patiently waited for my cup of ambition to brew. I noticed the size and shape of my Toast R Cake® suggests an Easy Bake Oven® product.

Circa 1963

Despite a 50 year run and its engineered safety features notwithstanding, I fear this childhood gem may become obsolete with the introduction of new energy-saving light bulbs (CFL’s) which contain mercury.

irony /ˈīrənē,ˈiərnē/ noun:  a situation that is strange or funny because things happen in a way that seems to be the opposite of what you expected. (Merriam-Webster)

The effort to mainstream energy-saving light bulbs has produced a hazard sufficient enough for the EPA to provide special instructions for clean up to individuals who break one. That seems ironic considering that during the same time period, technological advancement in household thermometers not only excludes mercury and the three-minute under-the-tongue wait, but provides an accurate reading in a mere second without it.

Imagine little Betsy and Timmy happily preparing to bake a breakfast cake for your enjoyment using not the 40 or 60 watt incandescent bulb of yesteryear, but the more modern CFL. Naturally they cannot surprise you with a cake unless there is no adult supervision. But these kids, trained to respect the future, sneak into the cupboard for a CFL bulb, but it slips out of their batter-licked fingers and BLAMMO! it covers the interior of the Easy Bake Oven® with mercury-filled powder. Eliminating the noticeable evidence, Timmy uses your kitchen sponge while Betsy gets a second bulb.

Twenty minutes later, they surprise you with a cake. Do not be alarmed by any damage to the brain, kidneys, or lungs. Remain calm if you experience symptoms including sensory impairment (vision, hearing, speech); lack of coordination; loss of hair, teeth, and nails; memory impairment; or insomnia.

ToasterCakeDo you think the Thomas’s factory uses Easy Bake Ovens or the bigger industrial ones? I was just wondering.

Other thoughts…

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2 thoughts on “Easy Bake Oven and the New Light Bulbs”

  1. Wow! The thoughts of this…totally mind blowing! Now that I’m thinking of it, I wonder what ever happened to my Easy Bake Oven? Could it be that my sister made it disappear? I’m still looking for my Julia doll too. Maybe they all disappeared at the same time Chutes and Ladders vanished….just sayin.

    1. All I know is that the last one v2.0 owned was recalled. She’s still bitter that I refused to get a replacement after that. I think they’re probably all in garage sale heaven.

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