Pulling the Short Straw on Black Friday

Because most local retailers decided to capitalize by opening early on Thanksgiving evening, those human popsicles stirred into a materialistic frenzy, clamoring outside, anxiously awaiting the opening in search of the quintessential Holy Grail of bargains, succumbed to an anti-climactic start of their holiday shopping season.

Having taken a “Seasonal Associate” position at the local department store, Stick Chick pulled the 2 a.m. to 10 a.m. doorbuster shift on Black Friday; AKA the short straw. Counting herself lucky to be merely sleep-deprived and held to a single shift straight through the night rather than a split shift as several of her compatriots, she made the following observations.

1. People still crave the Magic Bullet and are willing to shop for it at 3 o’clock in the morning.

Magic Bullet As Seen on TV
Magic Bullet As Seen on TV

2. Doorbuster shoppers appear laser-guided on their mission to make purchases even if the items are of questionable quality (made in China) with little apparent regard to the usefulness or need for said items.

3. Black Friday shoppers are not browsing for anything; they are hunting.

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4 thoughts on “Pulling the Short Straw on Black Friday

  1. The local morning radio show reported that towels were the number one selling item on Black Friday at WalMart, selling in the millions. This, they said, lends credence to the idea that people are shopping more for themselves than for others on that day. The proof will be on Christmas Day whether or not a majority of Americans are sporting new bath towels as they step out of the shower.

  2. This year ws the first year I pretty much stayed at home. Granted on the way home from PA I noticed that Staples was open so I picked up a few tablets for family members. To be honest I was a little dissapointed to see that Rudolph was on television a few nights before Thanksgiving… I kept thinking come on let Thanksgiving stand on it’s own as a holiday. No need to start bundling up Christmas and Thanksgiving together. I used to look forward to hearing Christmas music after Thanksgiving.. Now I can walk into a mall after Halloween and listen to Jingle Bells…I mean come on seriously ??????? Oh well sorry for my little rant but I do feel terrible for folks that are not doctors, policemen or fireman that have to work on holidays… Just not sure how necessary it is to have employees cut short their dinner’s so that stores can make more money.. Sad thing is once Walmart does it everyone else sees that as an excuse to do it too. And I am just as guilty for walking into that Staples on Thanksgiving evening too lol….

    1. Marketing trend watchers advance the notion that Black Friday shoppers (and now Thanksgiving shoppers too) appear to be making purchases as much or more for themselves as opposed to actual Christmas gift-giving shopping. Case in point: According to digitaltrends.com, Wally World sold 1.4 million tablets and more than 2 million television sets. Electronics? Okay, maybe they were for Aunt Millie and Grandpa Jamal, but here’s the clincher. During the same time, the retailer also sold 2.8 million towels. Let that sink in a bit.

      At least your purchases were intended for others. Way to own up though. 🙂 After all, what do we really need anyway?

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