Which Came First

A recent post by Andrew Blumetti is a stark reminder that people who have too much time on their hands ought not be allowed to create new concoctions for the rest of us to eat. But this sort of creativity really comes down to the question of which came first, the chicken or the egg? More importantly, who decided the edibility of either one ?

I imagine Grog (AKA Caveman#1) and Ug (AKA Caveman#2) sitting side-by-side one day, both tired and hungry from an unsuccessful day of hunting. Along comes a chicken. It stops in front of the cave, plops down and lays an egg.

Why did the pea hen cross the road?
Why did the pea hen cross the road?

In what is surely the earliest known moment of carpe diem, Grog, having contemplated the approaching chicken, cunningly seizes the moment of stillness and squawking to grab the chicken. He breaks its neck, dips it into a pot of boiling water, and begins plucking the feathers which (every caveman who is anyone knows) make perfect toothpicks for after dinner.

Ug, on the other hand, in desperation to prove his prowess as a hunter, snatches the egg. Clutching an errant feather, he taps a hole in one end of it. Thinking a smaller chicken surely lurks inside, he peers in, only to get an eyeful of liquid egg white. Excited, he believes he has discovered the first 5 Hour Energy drink. He greedily sucks out the contents. Crushing the shell in one hand he growls mightily as an Olympic weightlifter.

Clearly, it was the chicken that came first. Either scenario bodes well as an argument for vegetarianism.

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