Star Struck

When fantasy is larger and more complex than life, reality can never live up to fantasy.

Maybe it was the vantage point, the camera angle from which they shot him. Maybe Stick Chick just wasn’t watching, focused so much on the dialogue, the intrigue of its quirky characters, or the remote, pristine setting. Quite possibly it was his animal magnetism. This Adonis, a true specimen for the propagation of future demigods and goddesses, was a triple threat: charming, well-spoken, and talented.

She, on the other hand, deemed herself a caricature, tiny and undeserving, while he loomed literally large. This hunky, supporting-lead man with whom many an affair of the heart surely roamed, remained inaccessible, primarily because he was a television star, famous and in demand. Chances of a real encounter were more remote than winning the lottery having not purchased a ticket.

Stick Chick Faints guitar

No secret shrines in his honor sprung up in the little shed at the corner of her property. She was not insane after all, but faithfully watched each week, disappointed whenever there was a season break.

So when Stick Chick learned that the actor-turned-singer would appear at the local performance theatre, she could not help the tiny leap in her heart, or her zealous zip to the nearest computer to check on ticket availability. With deft keystrokes, she tapped his name and found his website.

True to any artist on tour, current depictions of him with his band featured prominently in a recent video. Reminiscing about the now decades-old TV show she once enjoyed, a few more clicks took her to Wikipedia where one simple scroll obliterated her long-held fantasy bubble.

It is a long-held belief that humans tend to find mates of similar height. This is partly biological, and partly customary, and is especially apparent at the average high school dance. Let’s face it, it has always been unlikely that the basketball team’s forward might find himself paired with the tiniest gymnast. It’s simply not done.

So it was with crossbow precision that Stick Chick’s eyes zeroed in on the statistic box showing Adonis’s height of 6 foot, 5 inches. She, a veritable housewife from suburbia, replete in her professional attire, with standard-issue 1 inch heels is every bit of 5 feet tall. This Adonis, she realized, is well over a foot taller than she.

As if the universe were out to grind her last wilted leaf of distant fantasy into the dust, she read on, learning Adonis has lived with his model-esque, actress girlfriend, a “10” by all accounts, for over a decade. Stick Chick realized what it means to have unrequited love, to be star struck.

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